Not having it
I have no idea if this dynamic exists in my family (it is hard, after all, to see what’s so close to you), but I’ve seen it in others. One friend told me about how his sister was having the garage door painted, and his father called the painters and told them to change the color, because it was “better”. He wasn’t paying for the paint job or anything, he just had opinions and he knew the painters. (He was right; it was a better color—but that’s not the point.) Anyway, my friend and his sister were discussing why their father would pull these things with her and not with him. One theory: my friend just wouldn’t have it.
Granted, our Mom’s been after all three of her kids for some grandkids, but we’re all strong enough to shrug it off. My brother’s been married for six years now and they just decided last year to start trying. I’ve never been on the baby wagon, nor my partner, and we’ve been together eight. My sis got married two years ago, after a post-cancer recovery year and they’re starting to talk about it. (and if one of my parents called my painters behind my back, I’d have their ass in a sling – and the siblings would help me)
Well, ultimately grandkids are pretty different from a garage 🙂
Even without parents pushing for grandkids, there’s sometimes a feeling of obligation to “continue the family line” that just comes out of societal expectations. But that said, I think having kids should be something you do because you want to, not because you feel obligated. Kids should be wanted.
I wish your brother luck!
“Kids should be wanted.”
Why is that a thing that so many people JUST DON”T GET????